| Okay! I'm writing here again! It's been such a long time since I've written in here.
I have a journal that I have been using this summer but I feel like expressing my feelings here because it gives me a feeling that at least one person will read this and share my emotions and that I don't have to carry the burden by myself.
But at the same time I am afraid that someone who is not meant to read this will read it and blow everything up.
So I guess I shouldn't even write in here at all.
But I will anyways because I'm crazy.
Actually I won't. The risk is far too great and I will just retreat to my journal.\
I will say one thing though. I want someone that I can confide in again. Someone other than just Zach and Andrew. I used to be able to tell everything to Jamie but every time I talk to her or think about her I feel a flood of regret flow through me that I am telling her all of my problems when she is no longer obligated to listen to them nor mandated to comfort me. I feel like I am using her. I mean we are still friends and friends should be there and support each other but it doesn't feel right telling her my present endeavors concerning the opposite sex.
Zach and Andrew are great and I know they are there for me but I need more. I need a woman's point of view.
Oh another thing that I will say. I hate it when people talk about other people behind their back. I remember in sophomore year I used to try and stop my company whenever they would talk about others but I stopped doing that.
-Josh
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| Time to whine again. Haha! Its seems like i only write on my xanga when I feel like something is seriously wrong with my life. Well, yeah. I went to my new school this week. I go to Milpitas High now. Sure is alot of asians here. Anyways. Yeah, I feel like a nobody in that school. Nobody knows me and I dont know anybody. I had alot going on in MVHS and now its all gone. In Mountain View High where ever I turn and look there will always be a friend that I can talk to. In Milpitas, the only person I recognize is myself whenever I see my reflection. I never felt so alone. |
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| The biggest steepest drop of my life graph, so steep in fact that you can tell that there is a local minimum even if you are a mile away. Xanga will be the last to know. Happy Holidays to you guys. I know mine is ruined. |
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| Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I guess there's a first for everything. |
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| My four day weekend was like a sinusoidal graph of sine with a domain of 0 to Pi. Saturday being the point x equals Pi over two, y equals 1 (meaning Saturday was the best part). |
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